9 Ways to Deal with Someone who is Trying to Sabotage You

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Why Do People Sabotage Others?

When someone tries to sabotage you and your reputation, it can often cause irreversible, permanent damage.

The effects of someone discrediting you can lead to social isolation, a loss of self-esteem and confidence, and can place you in a compromising situation.

For example, they may spread a terrible rumor about you that makes others question your competence.

Or they may tell your friends outright lies that make them hesitant to trust you.

Alternatively, they may socially undermine you in the workplace, and ruin your hardworking reputation.

People resort to discrediting/sabotaging others for a number of reasons. Some of the most common reasons include:

• They’re envious of your accomplishments
• They feel threatened by you
• They’re trying to protect themselves by making you look bad

All of these reasons are equally pathetic. If you’re experiencing something like this at your workplace, with your colleagues, your boss, at school, or even with your friends, I’m sorry, and I can definitely relate.

When a Person of Authority Tries to Discredit You

While getting my higher degree, I had a not-so-great experience that involved not another student, but a professor who tried to sabotage my reputation.

When people get desperate, there’s no telling just how far they’ll go.

The whole situation stemmed from the fact that this professor felt threatened, and was trying to protect herself and her job. I always had my misgivings about this professor from the get-go, but I didn’t know just how capable she was of professionally discrediting me to not just the other professors, but to the entire class, staff, and program.

On one of the days she taught class, she showed up late. Not just a few minutes late, but over an hour late. The entire class waited on her, and we thought that maybe she was just stuck in traffic.

But then we noticed that her two favorite students were gone, as well. I didn’t think much of it, until one of the students present announced that she had just gotten a text from one of the absent students, and they were both on their way with the professor.

“They must have had a meeting about that upcoming group project,” a student next to me said. I rolled my eyes, thinking about the project. I hated group projects.

Being a small classroom, the gal who had received the earlier text overheard us and piped up, giggling as she looked down at her phone, “Actually, it looks like they were all at that bar on campus this whole afternoon. They’re probably wasted.”

Just then, the two missing students tumbled into the classroom, giggling and sipping from their darkened plastic water bottles.

The professor came in after them, not looking any more put together. “Sorry I’m late, everyone. We had a last minute meeting and I completely lost track of the time!” Her words seemed a tad slurred.

This was weird.

And without any further explanation, she sloppily started class, although it was clear that she had been drinking. But it didn’t stop there. The two students that had been with her before and during class had filled their darkened bottles with beer, and were shamelessly pouring it into their friends’ clear water bottles throughout class when they thought no one was looking.

It was the worst excuse for a class that I had ever experienced. Even more annoying was when I counted up how much I was paying for that single class: over $300.

What a joke, I thought to myself. I was in disbelief about the whole situation.

Even worse, after we took a mid-class break, she showed up over another hour late after the break was supposed to end. And once again, her two favorite pals were gone as well, so we all quickly figured out where they were yet again.

Fed up, I left class after waiting on her for another hour after the break ended. I wasn’t going to waste any more of my time or money. But my absence didn’t go unnoticed.

Later that night, I got a scathing, threatening email from my professor saying that she was so disappointed in my behavior with how uninvolved and distracted I was during class, and how rude/unacceptable it was for me to have left early.

It was crystal clear though that she knew that I knew what was going on, and she was trying to cover her tracks. I actually felt sorry for her.  She must be having a pretty miserable life if she’s resorting to day-drinking on the job and missing her own class. I also had no idea just how far she would go if I told anyone, but I did know that she could fail me in her class.

Choosing to pick the high road, I kept my response short and sweet. I apologized for leaving, and agreed with her that I had indeed been distracted, and left it at that.

But she didn’t stop there. I later found out that she had told all the other professors, the program administrators, and had even complained about me to other students about how “rude,” “checked-out,” and “superior” I was/acted. She even went so far as to hold a private meeting with the program director to express concerns over my shameful behavior, all in an attempt to cover up her own.

I was shocked and disappointed, to say the very least. Literally overnight, my reputation was shot, and all because someone felt threatened by not what I had done, but what I could have done.

I went from being known as a hardworking and diligent student in my program, to being labeled as a rude, disrespectful, short-tempered and arrogant student. The professors and students treated me differently, and it gave my professor the upper hand to be as awful to me as she liked in and out of the classroom.

Having your reputation sabotaged by a professor, boss, or colleague is an awful experience. With just a few words, everyone’s perception of you can change, and it doesn’t matter how kind, hardworking, or innocent you actually are.

When someone sets out to purposely discredit you, you may feel completely powerless, as I did in this situation. The truth is though, is that you do have power to influence the situation, even if you don’t have the authority. It all comes down to how you react, and what you do in the aftermath of their sabotage.

Interested to know how you can deal with someone who’s undermining your reputation? Read on to learn the best 9 techniques in dealing with a situation like this.

How to Deal with Someone Who is Trying to Discredit You

1. Ignore what they say and do. Manipulative people are just waiting for your reaction when they set out to sabotage and discredit you, counting down the minutes until you explode. Don’t give them that pleasure, and ignore the entire situation, as tough as it is to do.

2. Don’t talk to others who are close to them. Be careful who you trust when it comes to dealing with a manipulative person. You never know who will report back to them and/or twist your words.

3. As hard as it may be to do this, be the bigger person, especially when others are watching. When someone is trying to discredit you, there’s nothing worse for them than to have their words come back and bite them in the a**. For example, if someone has sabotaged you and spread rumors that you’re a heartless jerk, show them just how kind you can be, especially when others are watching your interactions with that person.

4. Don’t let them know what your triggers are. Even when they’ve gone too far, don’t let your perpetrator know that you’ve reached a breaking point. Trust me, they’ll only use this knowledge to influence you and the situation further.

5. Un-friend them completely if possible. Cut ties completely with this person if you can. Remove them from your social media, block their number, the works. If this person is a boss, colleague, or professor though, politely agree with them when they speak to you, but then annoy the hell out of them and keep doing what you’re doing.

6. Make allies. Once you find others you can trust completely, make them your allies. It’s hard to face a perpetrator alone, and having allies that support you will send the message to them that you’re a force to be reckoned with, especially if it endangers their own reputation.

7. Stop worrying about what others think. The world’s greatest leaders got to where they did because they didn’t care about what others thought. Trust yourself and go with your gut. You don’t need to “fit in” with everyone else to be successful. In fact, most people that are successful never fit in to begin with.

8. Stop feeling guilty. Your perpetrator wants you to feel bad about yourself, even if you did absolutely nothing wrong. Stand strong in your beliefs and own them. When a manipulator senses guilt or self-doubt in you, they’ll immediately find a way to use it to their own advantage. It’s your life and your career, so don’t let them ruin it for you.

 9. Find your purpose and live for it. So many perpetrators out there live like they do because a) they’re miserable with their life or b) they can’t figure out where they’re going and what their purpose is or c) all of the above. They’re unable to see the bigger picture, and have become trapped in their shallow, manipulative ways. Don’t be like them, and embrace your purpose. Find personal-fulfillment in what you’re doing.  What are you wanting out of this job? Or this career? Define your goals and work towards them alone. At the end of the day when you’ve made progress towards those goals, or when the day comes and you’ve finally reached them, what else really matters?