Simple Advice for the Chaotic Life
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When life gets chaotic or we have a really bad day, the last thing we usually feel is thankful. We may find ourselves “going through the motions,” just trying to make it through the day. And the next day. And the next day. Many times I find myself asking the question: what is this all for? What am I working towards? Why?
It’s easy to lose sight of what’s most important in our lives, especially when we’re bogged down with the stressors of everyday life. Given all that we have to manage and deal with on a daily basis, it’s not surprising that we may feel like we are actually moving further and further away from our own goals and what we actually want to accomplish in this life, rather than moving towards successfully achieving these goals.
So how do we break the cycle and finally feel in control again? How do we begin to harness our innermost strengths, and empower ourselves to keep moving forward?
The answer lies in (and you may have guessed it) our attitude.
Our attitude and perspective on life is powerful. In fact, our attitude is so powerful that it can mean the difference between success and failure, if and how we grow from those heartbreaking setbacks, and whether or not we are happy with ourselves, and the lives we’re leading.
Changing our attitude is no easy feat though, especially when external factors (e.g., work, family drama, our children, our health, etc.) continue to be stressful or demanding.
So how exactly do we find calm amidst the chaos and refocus ourselves on what’s most important?
There is one, relatively painless way to guide yourself to a more peaceful place where you can refresh your perspective, and revitalize your outlook on life. It all begins with gratitude.
“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”
– William Arthur Ward.
Firstly: what does gratitude mean?
The definition of gratitude is the quality of being grateful, or readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. Finding gratitude for the things we have in our life may be difficult at first, especially on those really bad days, but the results can be far reaching.
Gratitude is an attitude, and definitely one worth cultivating. Research has found time and again that expressing thanks can lead to a healthier, happier, and less stressful lifestyle.
But how exactly do we cultivate that attitude of gratitude? Below are the 5 most effective and efficient ways to give thanks for what we have.
1. Journal. Research has shown that writing down what we’re thankful for presents numerous wellness benefits. Just jotting down a few expressions of thanks and gratitude daily in a list can reinforce positive thinking. As humans, we’re wired to focus on what is going wrong; however, by focusing on what is good and what we are grateful for, we can turn our thinking around, and develop a more positive stream of thoughts.
2. Rethink how you use social media. Social media is an unavoidable entity in today’s world. However, there is a way we can use it positively. Try putting together an archive of previous posts with your social media accounts to pull from when you need a cue to be thankful. Look to happy memories and events, like when your first niece or nephew was born, or when you graduated from college, or your first date with your significant other. Utilizing this approach will prompt happy thoughts and memories, as well as gratitude for your experiences.
3. Use positive language. So much of the time we say before we think, and often those quick remarks are negative or unpleasant. This doesn’t include just the obvious gossip or talking badly about others, but also self-criticisms and/or complaining about whatever situation we’re in. This is an easy habit to develop, and an even harder one to break. Using negative language is a waste of time and energy, and blinds us from seeing all the good things in our lives. By shifting the focus in our everyday conversations from negative to positive, you will begin to see the emphasis in your own life shift from pessimistic to optimistic.
4. Stop comparing yourself to others. One effective way to be more thankful is to stop comparing yourself to others. Instead, focus on you and you alone. What are you skilled at? What unique passions do you have that set you apart from others? What makes you special? Give yourself daily affirmations of your unique qualities and gifts.
5. Take time to reflect. When life seems nonstop and chaotic, we tend to become victims of time, letting it fly by without giving much thought to how things are actually affecting us. Instead of just “going through the motions” though, take time to pause and think about how your day has unfolded. Think about the sweeter moments of the day. Maybe you met up with a friend for coffee and shared a good laugh. Maybe you finally completed an arduous project at work. Or maybe you received a text that made you smile at your phone. By acknowledging the good, joyous things in your life and reflecting upon them, finding gratitude and feeling thankful becomes a lot easier, and life becomes a lot more satisfying.