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When Your Coworkers Act Like Children
Even as full-grown, working adults, it seems that we just can’t escape childish, immature behaviors. Whether it’s our friends being gossipy or acting petty towards one another, or even family drama, this childlike, petty bullsh*t seems to be a contagious disease that we can’t get away from.
And the workplace is no exception.
You would think that all workplaces would strive to hold the highest level of professionalism, maturity, and decorum. But alas, the workplace is often rife with pettiness and immature coworkers, and more closely resembles high school than an adult workplace.
At one of my previous jobs in entertainment, the business seemed to thrive on drama and emotional immaturity. Over the top, childish antics and behaviors were permitted and referred to as “big personalities” and “artistic temperaments,” labels that actually translated to “overgrown children,” or “self-indulgent toddlers.”
I worked quite closely with my manager, and his secretary supported us both. I had to rely on her much more than I would have liked, as she proved to be extremely immature and petty from the get-go. Everything from secretly listening in on my phone calls, eavesdropping on private meetings, spreading vicious rumors about myself, our boss (and nearly everyone else), were daily occurrences with her.
She was your quintessential high school diva: Regina George. She was the last person anyone should talk to about a potential problem. She would pretend to be your best friend and listen with feigned concern and sincerity, offering to “help” you out, no matter the issue. Then the moment you turned your back, she would twist your words tighter than a Twizzler, and turn the story around to make you look like an idiot. She literally had diarrhea of the mouth and couldn’t help herself the moment she got the scoop on anyone or anything.
The job itself was fairly easy for me to learn and stay on top of, but learning how to deal with someone like her was one of the most challenging, frustrating parts of my job.
So how do you deal with childish, immature behavior at work? Here are some of the most useful tactics I’ve learned yet.
How to Deal with Childish, Immature Behaviors at Work
1. Ignore them (and their childish behavior). As a first line of defense, ignore your immature colleague and their antics. Although a rather difficult first step to take, it’s often the most effective. You may not be able to control their petty bullsh*t, but you can control how you respond to it. If you can prove to them that you just don’t give a damn about what they’re doing, they’ll quickly realize that what they’re doing isn’t having the desired effect, and there’s a good chance they’ll give up.
2. Focus on your work as much as you can. It’s easy to hyper focus on what’s beyond your control, rather than on what you can control. When dealing with childish coworkers however, the best thing you can do is stay out of their way and do your job, and let them self-destruct on their own. Plus, if you’re one of the only ones that is clearly focusing on their work, and not on petty drama, you’ll stand apart from everyone else, and the management will notice.
3. Take notes. Keeping a record of all the drama may come in handy sooner than you think. A record will help you to have clear, detailed evidence to present to management should the situation worsen.
4. Confront your coworker. In certain cases, it may be best to confront the perpetrator on your own. There is a chance that your coworker may not realize the extent to which they’re hindering your work. Talk to them in private and choose a neutral setting (e.g., outside, at a coffee shop, etc.). When you let them know that their behavior is unacceptable, you’re giving them the opportunity to change, which is sometimes a better route to take than escalating the issue straight to management.
5. Talk to your manager. If you’ve already tried talking to your coworker, or if the issue is too sensitive to bring up with them in private, talk to your manager. Your manager is there to create a safe and productive working environment, and they’ll want to know if someone is compromising your ability to work.
6. Choose your battles wisely. When a workplace is rampant with childish behaviors, there’s no way you’re going to address every eye-roll or rude gesture. Choose your battles wisely when it comes to addressing problems. If your co-worker’s harmless eye-rolling is something that he does to everyone, than you probably can let it go. If they’re utterly backstabbing you or doing something that is compromising you and your job, than it’s something worth addressing.
