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Emotional abuse in a relationship isn’t always visible. One short, seemingly innocuous remark can turn into a string of other abusive behaviors that can cause immense damage to our self-worth and self-esteem.
Over time, these remarks and behaviors can have a cumulative effect that ultimately cripples us and compromises us in multiple ways.
It’s not always easy to identify someone who is emotionally abusive, which is why you should be aware of these 6 major signs of emotional abuse in a relationship. Keep reading to learn what they are.
6 Signs You’re in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
1. They harp on your flaws. Does your partner hyperfocus on your flaws? Maybe they consistently criticize your taste in clothes, or the way you cook, or draw attention to your own insecurities. Whether your flaws are self-perceived or very real, when a partner focuses on your flaws and calls them out (both alone or in front of others), this is a strong indication of emotional abuse. A partner that actually cares about you would never harp on your flaws with the intent of making you feel bad about yourself.
2. The way you look is never good enough. Another telltale sign of emotional abuse in a relationship is when they fixate on your appearance. Maybe they’re always telling you to go on a diet, or that you should dress differently, lose weight, or that you should even have surgery to correct that “problem.” If any of this sounds familiar, don’t fall for this trap. Someone who is fixated on controlling your body like this is trying to assert their dominance over you. Only you should be in control of your body, and all the health decisions you make in regards to it.
3. They overstep and/or ignore your boundaries. When a relationship is healthy, your partner will respect your boundaries and not overstep. In an abusive relationship though, those boundaries are ignored. They may even attempt to make you feel bad for even having those boundaries in the first place, and will call them into question rather than respecting them.
4. They’ll say and do whatever they can to keep you from succeeding. A person who is emotionally abusive in a relationship doesn’t like to be the star that is less brighter. They’ll try to cast doubts on your goals and your dreams to keep you from realizing other opportunities, or worse, to keep you from leaving them for greener pastures.
5. They restrict your access to those you care about most. Someone who is emotionally abusive operates by plucking away those that are most important in your life so that they can exert full control over you. They may express jealousy over your time spent with others, or they’ll call others’ motives into question so that you doubt them. They will do whatever it takes to drive a wedge between you and others.
6. They exploit your insecurities. In a healthy, stable relationship, you should be able to be honest with your partner about your insecurities. However, in an emotionally abusive relationship, the other will use your insecurities as a means of exploitation. Instead of quelling your fears and insecurities, they’ll try to fuel them so that you feel worse about yourself, or that you’re crippled by them. They’ll seize on your vulnerabilities, and use them against you whenever they can.
