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A rewarding, quality relationship requires a delicate balance of give and take.
That balance is quickly disturbed however when one is giving more than taking, or taking more than giving.
If you suspect that the balance of your friendship has been thrown out of whack, and that your friend is more on the taking than the giving side, it could be that your friend is more of a narcissist than, well, a friend.
Narcissists are undeniably charming, entertaining characters, which is why they’re often so deceptive.
But don’t be fooled, narcissists can cause a lot of damage in a short amount of time, so being able to spot one quickly is crucial if you want to minimize their damage as much as possible.
That being said, not every person who is even semi self-serving qualifies as a narcissist. There are varying levels of narcissism.
However, if you’re consistently questioning the intentions of your friend and you’re finding that the quality of your life is being diminished by their selfish behaviors, it could be that you are indeed dealing with a narcissist.
The only way to be sure though is to look for these 7 telling signs that indicate whether your friend is a narcissist.
7 Signs Your Friend is a Total Narcissist
1. Spending time with them is exhausting and emotionally draining. Once upon a time hanging out with this friend used to be fun, but things have changed since the initial stages of your friendship. Your friend requires a lot of work now. They can be demanding, needy, negative, and critical of everyone, including you. It’s as if once you gave them the ego-boost and support/attention they so desperately crave, you and your friendship with them lost significance.
2. They can never be truly happy for someone else. A narcissist can never be truly happy for someone else, as it would deflect away from their own successes and superiority. Instead, they seem to revel in others’ mistakes, shortcomings and failures. They seem to feed off the negative energy that comes with distress, particularly if it involves someone else.
3. They’re unquestioningly always right (according to them). A narcissist firmly believes that they are, without question, always right. Just ask them! While such confidence can be admirable to an extent, it can quickly become almost nauseating when their self-righteousness renders all other perspectives false and irrelevant. So while it may seem like they’re trying to help you when they dish out advice, be careful. More than likely they’re trying to manipulate you by being seemingly kind, and yet convincing you that you’re wrong.
4. Giving them advice is a big no-no. For the narcissist, friends exist for their own gratification. They see friends as a means of highlighting their own wonderful qualities, and not as sources of self-reflection or self-improvement. So forget trying to gently point out any weaknesses with them, no matter how well-intentioned you are. More than likely they will use any advice you give against you, and accuse you of being envious of them and their accomplishments.
5. They’ll be the first to tell you that no one is as kind or generous as they are. A narcissist is all about self-branding and self-promotion, and they always have an arsenal of stories to tell anyone about how amazing they are. Whether they’ve volunteered only once in their whole life, or gave a homeless person some of their change, their selfless acts parallel those of Gandhi.
6. They bring others down to build themselves up. Narcissists are without a doubt very charming people. They have a way of drawing you in in an intimate, almost conspiratorial way that makes you feel special. Don’t fall for this trick though, as this is how they garner support for their gossipy habits. Narcissists have a hard time keeping their mouths shut when they hear the latest juicy news. They love to tear other people apart because it only bolsters their own self-image and makes them look stronger, prettier, happier, and more successful than everyone else.
7. Loyalty means nothing to them. The narcissist is an expert when it comes to acting like they’re your best friend, and they’ll demand your loyalty for it. But don’t be fooled, they’ll betray your trust (and others’) in a heartbeat the moment they feel threatened. Narcissists typically don’t exercise loyalty to anyone but themselves. They care about #1 and #1 only, while everyone else is merely a means of gratification.
