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If you’ve ever been cheated on before, then you just how painful the experience is.
Anger, grief, sadness, guilt, and denial are just some of the emotions we feel on a second-to-second basis when the person we love is unfaithful to us.
While you shouldn’t deny what you feel when you’ve been cheated on, there are some things you should keep in mind.
Here are 5 things to remember when you’ve been cheated on.
5 Things to Remind Yourself of When You’ve Been Cheated On
1. It isn’t your fault. When somebody cheats, it’s a completely unilateral choice. There was nothing you did or said that could have ever forced this person to cheat on you, and yet they did it anyways. Remind yourself that this isn’t your fault AT ALL. It’s tempting for us to try to rationalize their behaviors and place blame on ourselves, when in reality, the fault lies entirely with them.
2. There is no excuse. When your partner cheats on you, it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of believing they had a legitimate excuse. Trust me, there is never an excuse for cheating no matter how bad things were between the two of you. Their decision to cheat was a choice they consciously made to disregard you, and put themselves first. The worst thing you can do for your own self-worth now is to listen to the lies and excuses, and believe them. There is never an excuse to cheat on someone. Plain and simple.
3. Their actions reflect who they are, not who you are. When the person you love isn’t faithful to you, your mind may try to trick you by convincing you that their actions reflect who you are as a person. Don’t fall for this trap. Their actions and behaviors are not a reflection of who you are, but only of themselves. The most compromising action you can take at this point is to ignore who they have revealed themselves to be, and think that you’re somehow responsible for this. When someone cheats on you, they’ve shown only their true colors and how they don’t deserve your love.
4. Look forward, not backwards. In the aftermath of someone cheating, it’s too easy to fall into the cycle of running through “where things went wrong,” and trying to overanalyze how it all happened. Don’t get stuck in the past. What’s done is done, and the only thing left for you to do now is to move forward and away from this other person. You’ll only waste your energy and time by looking backwards.
5. Forgive so you can heal, but don’t forget. There is no worse feeling than that of being cheated on, and the anger you’re experiencing now may feel impossible to part with at times. While it’s ok to feel angry, don’t let yourself stay angry. Forgive so that you can move on and heal from this, but don’t forget what they did. Remember that you’re worth so much more than their selfish actions, and it’s worth waiting for the next person that treats you that way.
For more tips on how to heal from when someone cheats on you, check out this article.
