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- Why being open-minded matters
- 5 tips for keeping an open mind
Why Being Open-minded Matters
When we’re faced with conflict, either internal or external, we often resort to choosing what is most familiar, or the ‘known quantity.’
There’s nothing wrong with choosing the path of least resistance or most familiarity. In fact, it was a way of surviving for our ancestors, and humans today are still hardwired with this tendency to pick the familiar over the unfamiliar, and the known over the unknown.
However, consistently picking the known over the unknown quantity does come with its consequences.
For one, we’re less open to hearing other’s opinions. We also fall into the trap of “groupthink,” where we seek consensus and hence discourage creativity and/or individual responsibility.
Our minds go unchallenged.
We stifle our own creative problem-solving skills.
We choose comfort over growth.
And we run the risk of becoming close-minded.
There’s power in keeping an open mind.
“Where there is an open mind, there will always be a frontier.”
Keeping an open mind challenges our thinking. It encourages our personal growth. It lets us find solutions that we would never find otherwise. And most importantly, an open mind allows us to understand each other, no matter how different we are.
And sometimes, an open mind will shed light on our own, very narrow ways of thinking, and can prove to us how wrong we actually are, though we were once convinced that we were unquestioningly right.
Here’s an example of keeping an open mind.
Moving away from home to start college taught me a lot about myself. I can so clearly remember one day driving through my new, still unfamiliar college town. I had been over at a friend’s studying (yes-I was a nerd), and was headed back to my dorm. I came to a stop light behind a large van. Knowing it would be a long light at this busy intersection, I took out my phone and started to look for a different song to play through my Bluetooth device.
All of a sudden, I felt something hit the front of my car, making a terrible noise. I looked up to see the van way too close to my beloved car. Oh my God-they had backed into my car!
The driver of the van pulled over onto the side of the road and got out. I pulled over behind him and got out, angrily slamming my car door. “Why did you back up??” I asked, bending down to check my car out. Thankfully there was no damage.
The guy looked shocked. “Um. You hit me,” he said, looking confused. I furrowed my brow and shook my head. Who did this guy think he was?
“No, you hit me.” I said. A long pause followed. “Well, is there any damage to your van?” I asked. The guy inspected his van, found nothing, and shook his head.
“So, I guess we’re good then?” he asked tentatively.
I nodded. “Yeah, all good. Well, drive carefully and have a good day.” Still annoyed, I got in my car and drove off.
I all but forgot the instance until a few months later when I was driving with my mom. She had come for a weekend visit and we were running errands.
Once again, we were at a stoplight. I was busy talking to her, telling her about my classes when she suddenly shrieked, “Watch it, Heather!” Startled, I jumped, slamming my foot on the brake.
“You almost hit that guy!” My mom exclaimed, looking at me with disbelief. Shocked, I looked down at my right foot.
“Sorry…I guess I hadn’t fully depressed the brake.” Then I felt the light bulb turn on. Oh my God. I really had hit that guy a couple months back.
I then realized just how wrong I had been when I had in fact hit that van. I had been so convinced that I was right and he was wrong, that I didn’t leave even half an ounce of room to consider that he might actually have had a point when he said that I had hit him. I sighed and rubbed my forehead. Geez. I’m a jerk. A total jerkasaurus, I thought to myself.
“What’s wrong?” My mom asked.
I explained to her my previous mishap with the other driver.
Now it was her turn to sigh. “Well. You can’t always be right. Maybe now you’ll actually drive better.” Thanks, mom.
I never forgot that feeling of being completely wrong. That little bit of humility went a long ways in showing me just how much someone else’s opinion matters, even when you’re fully convinced that they’re absolutely wrong.
It actually doesn’t really matter who’s right and who’s wrong in the long run; what matters is merely listening to someone and giving them the chance to express themselves. You never know, what they say may not be the truth in your reality today, but it could be one day, as it was for me with that other driver. And for that reason, it’s important to listen and respect others’ opinions, no matter how drastically they differ from your own.
All of us have thought with narrow minds at some point. Maybe we only pick a certain brand when it comes to buying cereal at the store. Maybe we only watch one particular news network so that we don’t have to hear differing views or opinions. Maybe we go for a certain ‘type’ when it comes to our dating habits.
Always picking the familiar is our go-to for the ‘safer’ route, but it can also be the more dangerous option when we choose to blind ourselves to others’ opinions, beliefs, and realities that are so different from our own.
Keeping an open mind is the one thing that can instantly expand your knowledge, your opportunities, your mindset, and your options, while also bringing greater meaning and fulfillment to your life. And while it may not always be the most comfortable option, you’ll always walk away a wiser, more humble person than you were before.
Curious to know how you can practice more open-mindedness in your everyday life, interactions, and relationships? Here are the 5 best tips for keeping an open mind.
5 Tips for Keeping an Open Mind
1. Listen more. Though it may be tempting to cut someone off when you think you know better than them, don’t. Relax this time, and just listen to what they have to say. You don’t even have to accept their way of thinking; just be curious. You can’t control a single thing another person says or does, but you can control how you respond and react.
2. Choose empathy over anger. No matter how fired up you may get when you hear something offensive, utterly wrong, or just plain ridiculous, try to understand where they’re coming from. Maybe their background is drastically different from your own. Maybe their own experiences have hardened them to feel strongly about certain topics. Put yourself in their shoes, and show empathy.
3. Choose the unfamiliar over the familiar. You don’t have to change zip codes or hairdressers to have an open mind. Start small. Rather than following your normal routine, shake things up a bit. Try being vegan for a day. Take the scenic route to work one morning. Get to know some of your more unfamiliar colleagues at work over lunch one day. Simply open your mind to trying something a little unfamiliar.
4. Ask questions. As daunting as it may seem to speak up and ask questions, do it anyways. The vast majority of people love to talk about themselves or their beliefs, and if you have a question, they’ll be even more engaged with you. You’ll be surprised by how much you can learn and understand by just asking a few questions.
5. Show gratitude, not judgment. When people share their idea or opinions, avoid making snap judgments and/or criticizing what they say. It takes courage to be able to express oneself, and no one should be persecuted for doing so. No matter how much you may disagree with what they say, thank them for sharing their thoughts.
Nice article..simple yet effective