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When something goes wrong in our lives, it’s easy to give into the first emotions that surface. Anger, frustration, annoyance, and pessimism are all quick to take over, making it difficult to focus on the positive. After all, how can we be expected to be positive when absolutely EVERYTHING is going wrong?! Negative emotions like these hardly seem like a choice.
The Choice of Happiness
But what if I told you that happiness is more of a choice than not? According to Huffington Post, research has continued to show that happiness is indeed a choice, and not merely something that is influenced by present circumstances. So while having a negative attitude may feel or appear to be the most reasonable reaction to negative circumstances, that doesn’t mean we have to have one.
Every individual has that little voice, or internal dialogue that constantly chatters in his or her mind. This internal commentary that goes on influences what we say, what we do, our behaviors, the habits we form, how we interact with others, and even the major choices we make that have the power to affect the rest of our lives.
While practicing positive self talk can actually make us more confident, all too often it can take a negative form, causing a ripple effect that can affect nearly every aspect of our lives. It can cloud all of our thoughts, our actions, and gives us a pessimistic, dark outlook where we always expect the worst to happen. A pessimistic outlook like this can ultimately become a self-fulfilling prophecy, reinforcing our “glass half-empty” approach to life and negative thought patterns.
So how do we break the habit of negative self-talk, and begin to focus on the positive? Read on to find out how you can train your mind to think more positive, and ultimately how you can create a more optimistic, brighter future.
How to Think More Positive
1. Begin your day with positive affirmation. Have you ever woken up late, or arrived late to work and felt like nothing went right the entire day? When you focus on a negative emotion like this, a pessimistic approach can carry over into every subsequent event. Your morning can set the tone for how the rest of the day unfolds. Rather than letting your late start get to you, begin your day with words of positive affirmation. Talk to yourself, either out loud or internally, and tell yourself how today will be a good day, and that you can accomplish what you set out to do.
2. Stand tall. The mind is an amazing entity in that it can actually begin to mimic the body’s behaviors, whether they’re positive or negative. Force your mind to adapt a more positive perspective by moving your body with confident, positive emotions. Stand tall and straight, hold your head high, and keep your shoulders back. Positive posture like this will intrinsically affect your mind and your mood.
3. Find humor in the not-so-great moments. When we are in a difficult situation, it’s easy to give in to those negative emotions. However, if you can find a silver lining, or something funny about whatever is happening, you’ll find that the worst situation really isn’t as bad as it may sound. So when you mess up or experience a challenging situation, or have a bad day altogether, try thinking about how it will make a good story to tell at some point, and see if you can crack a joke about it.
4. Smile MORE. You can also coax your brain into feeling more positive by simply smiling. Even when you feel at your worst, the simple act of smiling will instantly change your mood and current feelings to reflect your smile. And though it may feel a little odd at first to smile more, it’ll feel more natural the more you do it.
5. Surround yourself with positive people. When we’re surrounded by negative attitudes, we tend to imbibe the same behaviors. Ever heard the saying, “You are who your friends are?” Surround yourself with positive attitudes and people, and you’ll quickly find that you begin to mimic their positive habits and behaviors, without even trying!
6. Focus on the good parts of your day. Without a doubt, we will all have those days where nothing goes right, and it seems that whatever we do, we’re taking two steps backwards. When you encounter a day like this, look to find the good, however small or insignificant it may seem at first. Did your boss express dissatisfaction in your work? Great, you now have the feedback you need to do it better. Did traffic make you late to work? No worries, that’s extra time to listen to your favorite music and get pumped for the day. By choosing to focus your attention on the good things, you’re refusing to let the bad parts win, and you’re cultivating a more positive attitude.
7. Check your self–talk. Practicing self-talk is a great way to infuse your day with more positive affirmation. However, it’s easy for less-than-positive self-talk to creep into your internal dialogue. Check your thoughts as you go throughout your day for negative self-talk. Are you silently telling yourself that you can’t do this? Or that you’re destined to fail? When you realize you’re giving yourself negative messaging, quickly replace the negative with positive. For instance, thinking, “I’ll never get the hang of this new software” can be replaced with, “All I need is a little more time and practice, and I’ll get the hang of it soon enough.”
8. Practice gratitude. When we get bogged down with everyday frustrations, it’s easy to forget what we already have, and what we can be grateful for. One of the quickest, most effective ways to induce positive feelings is to focus on what you’re grateful for. Even better, keep a gratitude journal where you jot down a few things that you’re grateful for at the end of each day. Do you have a loving, supportive family that is there for you no matter what? Do you have a bed to sleep in every night? A roof over your head? An education? Note the things you have, however basic they may seem, and you’ll quickly see that it immediately shifts your perspective from negative to positive.
