Please note that this post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here.
Have you ever let your fears hold you back from doing something that you really wanted to do?
You may have been given a rare opportunity that you were so excited for at first. But then as time went on, you talked yourself out of it, and let your fears take control.
Or maybe you let your fears keep you from doing what you love to do, all because you convinced yourself that in some way, it wouldn’t be worth it.
Fear is a crippling, self-debilitating feeling that holds us back from doing the things we really want to do, and from reaching our full potential.
It doesn’t have to be this way, though.
You can learn to control your fears, instead of letting them control you.
The next time you feel your fears holding you back, work through these 10 steps.
10 Ways to Overcome Your Irrational Fears
1. Acknowledge your fears. Have you ever come across a situation that just simply triggered your fears, and yet you had no idea why? Fears often grow and become irrational simply because they haven’t been dealt with. The next time you feel fear, acknowledge the fear and bring attention to it in your mind. When you bring awareness to your fear, you’re calling it out and refusing to ignore it any longer.
2. Transfer your fears from mind to paper. Once you’ve acknowledged your fear, start writing. Write about the situation that caused the fear, the emotions you felt, and how long you felt it. Did you feel fear because your boss seemed angry today? Were you studying for an exam when you suddenly felt overcome with fear? Pinpoint what exactly made you feel the fear. It could be that you’re afraid to fail, or that you’re afraid of messing up at work.
3. Know that humans are wired to feel fear. Fear is an instinctual feeling that humans have had since the beginning of time. It’s an emotion that is hardwired into our brains to ensure our survival. To this day, we still possess this innate emotion, although our lives differ drastically from those of our ancestors. While a healthy dose of fear is a good thing (e.g., it may keep you from getting too close to the edge of a cliff), your fears are often irrational. When you become overwhelmed with fear, remind yourself that fear is a natural part of being human, but you don’t have to let it control you.
4. Do you really want to let fears control your life? When we let our fears take the wheel, we let ourselves become victims of our own fears. The majority of the events that happen in this world are well beyond our control, but your fears are not. Don’t let that fear control you and rule your life. Do you really want to live a life that is restricted by fear?
5. Go with your gut. You know that feeling you get when you just know that you need to do something for yourself? It could be that you’ve been dreading making a tough phone call or having a difficult conversation. Or it could be that you’re afraid to ask for something, but fear the answer will be “No.” Your intuition may be telling you exactly what to do, but the fears in your mind are holding your back. Go with your gut and trust your intuition. Your fears are just that: fears. They hold no truth and do not represent your reality.
6. Ask yourself, “Am I really going to let ME stand in the way of my growth?” When you start to listen to those irrational fears in your mind, or worse, when you give in to them, you’re choosing comfort over growth, and directly blocking your own growth and success. No one can hold you back except you. Fears and self-doubts are the greatest obstacles to realizing our potential. You most likely don’t even know what all you’re capable of, so why not find out?
7. Embrace what makes you unique. As cliché as it sounds, you are a unique person with special skills and talents. Embrace those skills. Showcase your talents. Own what makes you unique, and have confidence in your abilities.
8. Take note of your progress, however incremental. So maybe you only partly accomplished your goal today, and that’s ok! Take note of your progress, and realize that you are getting one step closer to achieving your goal and overcoming your fear. Celebrate the successes of your personal growth, and know that you are wiser than you were yesterday.
9. Check your inner dialogue. So much of the time our inner dialogue goes unchecked. We may fill our minds with negative feedback, and crippling self-doubt. Talk down your self-doubts, and turn your negative stream of thoughts into a positive one.
10. Remind yourself that nothing is perfect. So maybe you didn’t get it right the first time, but what did you learn? How did you grow? Every perceived failure you experience will in some way help to bring you that much closer to success, and will make you that much stronger in fighting your fears.