In this post:
- What causes self-doubt?
- How to overcome self-doubt
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“Our greatest battles are those with our own minds.”
-Jameson Frank
When self-doubt takes root in our minds, the ability to control it hardly seems like a choice. What starts out as a tiny, almost inaudible little voice of fear, quickly grows to a resounding, near-deafening bellow that stifles all of our creativity, our willpower, and our resolve to accomplish our goals.
Self-doubt is the one thing that holds us back from what we want to achieve. Plenty of people out there are already quick to doubt us, to judge us, to criticize us and our goals. So why do we give into their criticisms and judgments, and let our minds reflect what they’re saying?
What causes self-doubt?
Everyone struggles with self-doubt, and to a limited extent, self-doubt does serve a purpose. Self-doubt can be a motivating force that pushes us to do better, to work harder. It’s the little ounce of fear we need to push us forward and away from failure, and to not make the same mistakes again.
But it’s when this little bit of self-doubt grows to an immense burden that we find it can quickly derail us from what we want to achieve, and holds us back from moving forward.
I can remember when I was younger and competing in high jump (if you didn’t think I was a dork to begin with, I’m sure you do now!). I actually used to be a fairly decent jumper, and went on to compete at the “junior” olympics several times, placing consistently in the top 3. I loved high jumping. But more than anything, I loved the feeling of seeing my hard work and training pay off.
When I started competing at about age 9, I found the parents and other competitors to be fairly supportive. After all, we were just a bunch of kids doing this for the fun of it. But as I got older, I noticed how things changed. Girls my age were suddenly super aggressive and competitive, and their parents encouraged this behavior, sometimes yelling not so nice things from the stands at the kids that were competing against their own.
I can remember one meet where we were taking our first round of jumps at a lower height. The lower heights were like a warm-up for most of us, and I felt confident in my abilities. When my name was called and I stood up to take my place at my mark where I would start my approach to the bar, I heard a couple of the other jumpers in my division whispering behind me.
“Oh! This is her. The one I was telling you about. She placed at nationals last year. She’s supposed to be really good.”
“That’s right, I remember her. Well, my mom said that she probably wouldn’t do well this year, that she already “peaked,” or something like that.”
I felt my confidence die on the spot. Gone was my usual upbeat vigor, replaced by self-doubt and confusion. I wiped the sweat from my forehead. It was already hot and it was only 10 a.m. I stared at the bar and leaned forward, trying to talk over the little, growing voices in my head, clenching my hands tightly.
You already peaked. Your high jump days are almost done, Heather. Everyone knows it. Why even try?
I shook my head as if to shake the thoughts, and began my approach to the bar, following the perfectly measured steps that I had run through hundreds of times that would lead me up to the pit at just the right angle. As I jumped from my left foot and felt my body leave the ground, the weight of my mind seemed to drag me down, and my right foot caught the bar. The fiberglass bar fell to the ground as I rolled onto the mat, and I knew I had missed it.
And just like that, I let my self-doubt control my abilities. I gave in to the voices of fear and criticism, and let it take away something that I had worked so hard for.
Self-doubt troubles everyone. It’s the greatest obstacle that we face that keeps us from living life the way we truly want to. It’s the one thing that can simultaneously deflate our self-esteem, cloud our outlook, defeat our ambitions, and keep us from being who we really want to be. And while it may seem like even the strongest people could never struggle with self-doubt, there are a few things that they do to channel their self-doubt into fuel that drives their motivation and success.
Want to learn how? Follow the tips below to counteract your self-doubt, and learn how you can talk down your self-doubt the next time you hear those pesky little voices.
How to overcome self-doubt
1. Call out your doubts. Doubts are just that: doubts. They hold no truth or validity of who you are and what you can and can’t do. Self-doubt is merely based on fear-fueled stories that your mind creates to protect you from failure. However, they are not the truth. So the next time your doubt begins to creep in, call them out and remember they hold no truth.
2. Set an immediate goal, and accomplish it now. The best way to overcome self-doubt is to prove your doubts wrong and accomplish whatever you’re doubting. Look at your to-do list or think of something you’ve been wanting to do, and do it now. Not only will this boost your confidence, but you’ll also directly eliminate your doubts and prove them wrong.
3. Reflect on what you’ve accomplished in the past. Remember that big project at work that you tackled last month? Or how you nailed that speech in class? Reflect on something you’ve accomplished and remind yourself that you are capable of succeeding again, and that you won’t let self-doubts stop you this time.
4. Resist the urge to compare yourself to others. Self-doubt is often fueled by feelings of inadequacy, particularly when we’re comparing ourselves to others. Compete with yourself instead and set goals that motivate you to work harder than you have before, and set out to accomplish more than you have in the past.
5. Keep yourself busy with short-term and long-term goals. Self-doubt often masquerades as free-floating anxiety, where we feel so distracted and unfocused that we can’t accomplish a single thing. Reprioritize your goals and keep yourself busy with both short-term and long-term targets. As you tick off the more immediate goals, you’ll feel both more confident and prepared to tackle the long-term ones, and you’ll directly counteract that anxiety you feel from your self-doubt.
6. Remember that everyone struggles with self-doubt. You’re not alone in your fight to beat self-doubt. Everyone is struggling with some insecurity or perceived shortcoming, just as you are. Believing that you’re alone can be isolating and leads to feelings of depression. Remind yourself that no one is alone when it comes to self-doubt. Everyone feels it.
Self-doubt is a normal reaction to how your mind perceives fear and the threat of failure. With these techniques though, you can easily counteract your self-doubt, and finally reach your goals without the obstacle of your fears.
I used to suffer from self doubt all the time and so can completely support this post! Anyone else have any more advice about this?