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After a break-up, we all go through a period of loneliness where we struggle to move forward, and we feel like something is missing in our lives.
It’s during this time that some people may actually get back together, no matter how unhealthy or damaging the relationship was. They may confuse feelings of love with feelings of loneliness, and look to fill the void with getting back together.
8 Signs that Your Breakup is Meant to Last Forever.
While there is no easy way or “quick fix” to deal with loneliness, there are healthier ways in which you can cope with the pain after a break-up. Here are the 6 best ways to deal with loneliness post-split.
6 Ways to Cope with Loneliness After a Break-Up
1. Connect with nature. Being in the outdoors is undoubtedly refreshing, but did you know that there are proven mental health benefits to spending time outside in nature? Research has shown that immersing ourselves in nature can lead to improved self-esteem and provides unparalleled mood boosting effects, and as someone that walks outside every day, I can certainly attest to this finding. So the next time you’re feeling lonely, or just need a pick-me-up in general, head outside. Walk in a park. Go on a hike. Rent a kayak. Explore a nature trail. Find some way to connect with nature, and you’ll see for yourself just how revitalizing Mother Nature is.
2. Start a gratitude journal. Feelings of loneliness often arise when we feel that we’ve been judged and deemed not good enough, especially after a break-up. We’re left alone with our thoughts, wondering what we did or said wrong, and what we could have done differently. In this way, experiencing loneliness shifts our perspective to focus solely on ourselves, which limits our worldview and makes it even harder to heal from. Rather than falling into this trap and thinking about everything that you could have possibly done wrong, choose to focus on the things that are good in your life, or the things that have gone right that you’re grateful for. For instance, maybe this break-up has led to a newfound appreciation of your family and friends. Or maybe this has been an opportunity to get to know yourself better, or to bolster your own independence. Look for the silver linings in your life, and you’ll see that this attitude of gratitude changes your perspective on loneliness.
3. Acknowledge those raw feelings. Break-ups are hard to bounce back from, not just because you may be lonely, but also because you’re left alone with emotional baggage that can be difficult to sort through. Dont feel overwhelmed by these feelings, and don’t neglect them either. Instead, explore your feelings. Allow yourself to acknowledge them, no matter how dark, funny, or weird they may be. It’s ok to feel an entire spectrum of emotions after a break-up. In fact, they can serve as a wonderful means of creativity. Start a journal and write about them. Paint a picture of how you’re feeling. Compose a song. Whatever you’re feeling, find some way to creatively express yourself, and use it as an outlet for your loneliness.
4. Know that there is no “quick fix.” Healing from a break up is a process, and there is no overnight cure. You’re going to have days where you feel awful, and you’re going to have days where you feel on top of the world. Humans are wired to feel an array of emotions, and break-ups really bring those emotions up to the surface. Give yourself the peace you deserve by knowing that there is nothing wrong with how you’re feeling. There is nothing you need to “fix” about yourself.
5. Remember that to be unattached doesn’t mean you’re alone. Being alone often has a negative connotation, and many people falsely believe that just because they’re not dating anyone anymore, that they’re all alone. You are not alone, though. You have your friends. You have your family. You have yourself to lean on. Use this time as a means of strengthening both your independence and your support networks. You’ll find that you don’t actually need an intimate relationship to feel happy or fulfilled. You are wholly capable of experiencing that on your own.
6. Take care of you. While I wouldn’t suggest going after your “revenge body,” certainly make the time to take care of your body in a way that provides your body energy and nourishment. For example, going on a 20 minute walk can lower your stress levels, boost your mood, and refresh your perspective, all while providing a healthy distraction from your post break-up thoughts.
