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At some point in our lives, we all question ourselves. We may question what we’re doing, who we are, if we’re successful enough, and whether we’re ‘good enough.’
Doubts like these are self-imposed barriers that ultimately stand in the way of what we truly want in our lives.
In college, I thought I wanted to be a doctor. I took the maximum amount of hours of classes, took every science course imaginable, and shadowed every weekend at hospitals and health clinics. In my mind, I thought that the only way to be successful was to have an MD behind my name, even though I knew deep down that this wasn’t what I wanted.
I let self-doubts consume me to the point where I was making decisions solely based on what others wanted and expected of me, and not what I wanted for myself. I suffered from intensely low levels of self-confidence and esteem, and was always second-guessing myself.
That was a tough chapter for me, and I learned that if I didn’t address self-doubts like these head-on, my life would only become a reflection of my worst negative thoughts and self-doubts.
It isn’t easy to overcome self-doubts like these, and there is no overnight cure for addressing them. It is, however, completely doable and within your capabilities to conquer your self-doubt, build your self-confidence, and finally harness your potential.
Use the 5 methods below to overcome your self-doubts and give yourself the freedom to pursue your version of success, and your own happiness.
5 Ways to Remove Your Self-Imposed Barriers of Doubt
1. Act confident first, feel confident later. Self-doubt is the antithesis of self-confidence, but confidence usually doesn’t come as easily as doubts do. Luckily, there are ways you can actually trick your brain into feeling more confident. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, ”Fake it ‘til you make it.” There’s actually a bit of truth to this saying. Did you know that if you merely act confident, your brain will reflect the emotions of your actions? Thus if you act confident, you’ll feel confident. While you don’t necessarily need to try to achieve all your lifelong goals in one day, use this method to start taking small steps towards your dreams. You’ll see that you can simultaneously move closer towards your goals, while also effectively dismantling your self-imposed barriers of doubt.
2. See the struggle as a way to grow. Many of us fear the struggle of, well, anything because we believe that struggles ares a direct reflection of our shortcomings and incapabilities. Take a moment to reflect on this attitude, though. How are you expected to get anywhere if you can’t struggle? Instead of seeing struggle as a reason to stop, look at it as a way to grow. In fact, it’s the only way you can grow and become more confident in your efforts. So rather than trying to resist the natural struggle of moving forward and growing, embrace it. Struggle doesn’t signal inherent flaws or shortcomings of yours; it actually serves as evidence that you’re learning and taking steps to move forward.
3. Check your negative thoughts and self-talk. Our inner dialogue is constant and feeds our mind with either self-debilitating doubt, or uplifting pep talk. What does yours say? Does it tell you to keep going? To celebrate the small wins? Or does it tell you that you’re not smart enough? That you’ll never make it? Slow down your thoughts and examine them. Your self-talk can be a powerful, motivating force, but you have to make sure it’s positive, not negative.
4. Don’t compare. “Every minute you spend wishing you had someone else’s life is a minute spent wasting yours.” Think about this. How often have you let doubt take over when you compared yourself to someone else? How often have you given into those doubts and accepted them as truth once you saw what someone else had what you didn’t have? Comparing yourself to others is the primary way in which you let your doubts begin to cripple you, whether it’s personally or professionally. Instead of looking to others as a means of reinforcing your doubts, look to you and your own path. What are you doing? What are your passions? Where do you want to go? Everyone is on their own journey in life, and that includes you.
5. Nurture your most supportive relationships. Who are your biggest fans in your life? Your friends? Your spouse? Your dad? Reflect on your relationships, and thoughtfully set aside more time to spend with these figures in your life. Why? Relationships are one of the primary sources from which we draw strength and confidence from. More than likely, your biggest fans are probably also the people that know you best, and are the ones that can remind you of your unique strengths and talents when no one-not even yourself- will.
