Please note that this post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here.

If there is one fact in life that we continue to struggle to accept, it’s that we actually have little to no control over many of the things that happen in our lives.

Sure, we may convince ourselves that we are completely in control, that we can exert control over every aspect of our lives. But this is an exhausting, futile battle to keep fighting when the truth is that we simply cannot and do not have control over everything.

Alternatively, some of us are fully aware that we can’t prevent the worst from happening, but we worry anyways and make the world’s problems our own problems. We worry about everything from outbreaks of disease to the planet’s future. Worrying in this way isn’t just a distraction, it’s a drain on our time and energy, and ultimately doesn’t do any good.

If you often find yourself worrying about the things you cannot control or change, use these 6 techniques to help you maintain perspective.

6 Ways to Let Go of What You Can’t Control or Change

1. Isolate what you can control. When you find yourself taking on the worries of the whole world, take a moment to focus on what you actually do have control over. You may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, but you can certainly prepare for it. For instance, you may not be able to control a volatile family member at an upcoming family reunion, but you can control your reaction and your own behaviors. When it may seem that you’re losing all your control over something, isolate in your mind what you do have control over. You’ll feel far more capable, and even optimistic when you isolate and focus on the things you have control over, like your attitude and reaction.

2. Acknowledge what you’re afraid of. So much of the time we operate solely on our fears, and develop a worst case scenario pattern of thinking. But what are you really afraid of? Are you afraid of disappointing others? Of disappointing yourself? Chances are that your worst fears are not as bad as you may envision. Fuel your energy and worries towards acknowledging your fears instead, and develop a plan of action for when things don’t go as smoothly as you would like them to. This way, you’ll be channeling your nervous energy towards feeling more in control, while also preparing for your worst case scenario.

3. Focus on managing your stress. When we stress out, we tend to neglect our own needs. We may eat less healthier, sleep less, and put off exercising. However, these are all things you should be doing more of when you’re worried and stressed, rather than less of. Stress relieving activities are pivotal to maintaining your health and keeping perspective, so make the time to get adequate sleep, to eat healthy, and to exercise more.

4. Use positive self-talk. Your internal dialogue can be a powerful self-motivating tool, especially when it comes to convincing yourself that you can handle whatever challenges come your way. So rather than letting negative chatter in your mind hold you back, ensure that your self-talk is positive and optimistic. For example, praying that your boss isn’t in a bad mood today won’t help you much, but telling yourself that you can definitely handle their moods will assure you that you are indeed capable of handling them.

5. Expect less, and show more gratitude. We live in a world of instant gratification and immediate results when we want something. This sense of wanting and having more, however, often further exacerbates our need for control, and may fool us into thinking that we should have charge over certain things when we really can’t. Thus, when something or someone fails to meet our expectations, we become disappointed and angry. Instead of expecting things to happen a certain way, or for others to behave in the ways you want, expect less from them. Show more gratitude for what you have right now, rather than waiting for something to happen to show thanks.

6. Relinquish your need for control. We all have an inherent need to feel in control of every aspect of our lives. But this is a futile pursuit, simply because it’s impossible to take charge of every aspect that touches our lives. Focus on letting go of this need for control. You don’t have to feel in control of absolutely everything in your life to feel fulfilled or accomplished. In fact, there is great freedom in the choice of letting go.

Need more help still? Check out this article.