Please note that this post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here.
How we derive meaning from our lives largely comes down to what we believe in and what we value most.
Beliefs are what drive us every day. We may use them as a means of motivation, or to make sense of situations that are difficult or compromising.
We can use our belief system to our advantage in many ways. For example, you may believe that “There is no substitute for hard work,” and that as long as you work your hardest every day, good things will come your way.
We can also use beliefs to help us manage other challenges. For instance, believing that “Time heals all” may help us to more effectively cope with loss or pain.
In this way, beliefs can be positive mechanisms that we can use every day to find meaning and value in our lives.
However, not all beliefs are used as a healthy means of motivation.
In fact, many of our beliefs are self-limiting in that they hold us back from reaching our goals and realizing our potential.
Self-limiting beliefs are also self-fulfilling prophecies. When you formulate a belief that you integrate into your belief system, it eventually becomes your reality.
For example, believing that you won’t be happy until you make X amount of dollars places a greater value on money than on your happiness, and over time, money will continue to be your sole aim, while your happiness will be left by the wayside. Even when you do reach X amount of dollars, no amount of money will ever bring you happiness.
It’s beliefs like these that are self-limiting, self-crippling convictions that come with a heavy price, whether it’s our health, our career, our success, and almost always, our happiness.
So if you’re at war with yourself and trying to figure out what’s holding you back, or if you feel like you’re struggling to find your happiness, start by evaluating your own belief system, and let go of these 8 self-limiting beliefs.
8 Self-Limiting Beliefs That Are Holding You Back
1. “I don’t have what it takes to tackle these challenges.” Believing you’re incapable of handling challenges as they arise limits not only your worldview, but also your potential. You may convince yourself that you don’t have what it takes to handle whatever life throws at you, which is a self-crippling behavior. Furthermore, the belief is reinforced when a challenge does arise, and you choose inaction over action. Instead of letting your self-doubts guide you, change your self-talk to include positive affirmations. They may include thoughts like, “I know that there are obstacles ahead, and I will address them as they come,” or, “The only thing I can do is try my hardest, so even if I fail, at least I’ll know I gave it my all.”
2. “Why does everything bad happen to ME?” Thinking the world is always pitted against you, or that life is especially unfair to you is a self-limiting belief that will quickly and negatively affect how successful you are. Believing that you are always in some way the victim is not only failing to take responsibility for yourself, it’s also an exceptionally isolating belief that will only make you feel increasingly alone as you go through life. Try focusing less on whatever hurts the world has caused you, and more on you and what you can do differently. You may have no control over the world or what others do, but you do have control over your own actions and what you choose to make of the situation.
3. “What I want can wait.” Choosing to place everyone else’s priorities ahead of your own is another self-limiting behavior because you essentially diminish the value of your own priorities and goals, while elevating others’ priorities. It isn’t selfish to go after what you want instead of what others want; it’s fulfilling in that you’re choosing to follow your own heart and go after your own dreams. Stop focusing on what others want, and start focusing on what you want. Use your talents and passions to chase after your version of success.
4. “Mistakes mean I’m doing something (or everything) wrong.” Every successful person has gone through a long sequence of mistakes and failures that eventually led them to their success. However, they didn’t let their mistakes limit their growth or potential; rather, they used their mistakes as valuable lessons and stepping stones that brought them only closer to their goals. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of thinking that your mistakes equate with failure – they don’t! Embrace your mistakes and learn from them.
5. “My accomplishments are meaningless unless other people validate them.” Seeking constant validation from others for your accomplishments may seem like an effective way to assign meaning to your successes, but ultimately it diminishes the value of your efforts. When you seek approval from others for what you’re doing, you lower your self-worth by placing greater emphasis on what others think, rather than what you think. The only opinion that should matter when it comes to your accomplishments is yours. After all, it’s you who set the goals in the first place and it’s you who reached them, not anyone else. Try focusing less on what others think, and more on what your version of success looks like.
6. “Change only creates more problems.” Being averse to change is a self-handicapping behavior, simply because change is really the only thing that remains constant in life. Rather than resisting change, see it as a clean slate, or a fresh, new beginning. You’ll be far more successful in nearly every aspect of life if you can ride the tides of change, rather than resisting change and being left behind.
7. “I can’t trust my intuition.” Giving into your self-doubts and failing to trust your instincts is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you listen to your self-criticisms and doubts, the more you start to believe them and see it as your reality. Thus when difficulties arise, this negative self-talk will heavily influence your ability to overcome the challenge, and should you fail to surmount the challenge, you’ll only reinforce your self-doubts. Rather than letting this vicious cycle continue and determine your success, believe in yourself and use positivity as your guiding light. Listen to your intuition; more than likely you already have all the answers, but you must first start listening.
8. “My worth is measured by my career or how much I make.” This self-limiting belief is damaging to your own self-worth and respect. How much money you have may denote your financial worth, but in no way does it measure your personal value. Instead of focusing so much on the dollar amount or the title you have at your job, think about what qualities you admire in others, or what your definition of a “good person” is. Is it how kind someone is to others? Or the seemingly unlimited amount of patience they show in testing situations? How they volunteer their time to charitable work? Qualities like these are far better indicators of worth, and are much more fulfilling, satisfying endeavors in the long run than simply making money.
