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We all know those people that seemingly live to brag about their vacations. Whether it’s on Facebook or Instagram, vacation bragging and over-posting vacation photos (or just photos in general) has somehow become totally normal, and ‘Instagrammability’ is now officially a thing.
When I look back at old vacation photos with my family, I’m always surprised by how few there are. Pictures of our family vacations usually consisted only of a couple random shots of my parents trying to keep us all in the photo frame while we acted like wild animals. These photos usually make me laugh as I remember being told to smile and stop wriggling, while one of my sisters tickled me as she stood behind me.
Taking pictures still seems to be an obligation when you visit someplace new, however, it has certainly morphed into something quite larger.
When I travel now (with or without family), I see the goal is no longer to look at or admire new places, but rather to look at or admire ourselves through the lens of a camera. Vacation bragging has become an overwhelmingly normal trend, but why? On a recent vacation (more on that below), I found myself asking the same question over and over again.
Why does anyone take a hundred photos of them doing almost exactly the same pose in every frame, but only with the slightest variation? Why is that photo then edited and smoothed to perfection? Is that photo really about creating a lifelong memory that you can look back on one day to appreciate that moment? Or is it to create the illusion of a perfect life: a life you don’t necessarily have, but a life you want others to want?
Sadly, I believe the latter is true. When we take so many vacation photos, or even just glamorous photos of ordinary life (e.g., “lunch out with the girls!”), the meaning of a simple, single memory (no longer documented by a simple, single photo) has been lost. It’s not about remembering the good times for future reflection; it’s a means of bragging with the intent of causing envy in others. After all, who wants to see you performing the more mundane activities of your real life, such as shopping for groceries, or paying your bills? The alternative of painting a much more enviable life that is so far from the ordinary has become, ironically, quite ordinary.
Related: 7 Effective Ways to Curb Your Social Media Addiction
When did it become this way? And why do we feel the need to brag about it?
Recently my husband and I took a few days off for a beach vacation. Warmer weather, salty air, and an escape from our normal lives all sounded like the perfect escape. Shortly after checking in at our hotel, we went to the beach, armed with sunscreen and water bottles. We made ourselves comfortable on a couple chairs, and settled in for a couple of hours of ocean gazing. From a quick glance, it appeared that the vast majority of beach goers that day were couples like our selves.
However, shortly after making ourselves comfortable, we noticed an alarming trend on the beach. Everywhere we looked, people were filming themselves. There was a couple that had set up a tripod that was recording them as they frolicked about in the water, while another couple held up a camera as they passionately made out—standing knee deep in the water. Another woman was loudly recording an Instagram live video and openly vacation bragging, while nearby a husband shot photos of his wife striking provocative poses in the sand.
At first my husband and I watched with intrigue, but as the cameras kept recording and the photo-taking continued, we felt horrified. What was happening? And why were we the only two people on the beach not filming ourselves? Had everyone else gone mad—or worse, were WE the crazy ones for not joining in on the filming frenzy?
“Have our vacations always been like this?” my husband asked.
I shook my head. “It’s never been this bad.”
Sadly, the vacation bragging my husband and I witnessed that day (and every day of our vacation) has become commonplace in today’s world. Think about it. How many times have you seen someone carrying a selfie stick as they recorded videos of themselves out and about? Or how many times have you seen someone taking an infinite number of selfies while out in public?
It would seem that we’ve entered an era of ‘me.’ An era where we don’t exist unless we show each other how we exist every day, even if that existence is partly or mostly fabricated.
Whether it’s taking the perfect picture as we sip our morning joe, or posting a hundred glamorous photos of us on vacation on Instagram, our need to seek validation from others has reached the tipping point to where it’s no longer just approval that we seek from others, but rather envy.
But this theory of mine still doesn’t answer the question: why do we feel the need to brag about our vacations and our lives? Why do we want to engender envy in others? Why do we have to photoshop every photo we post until it is so perfectly unattainable and unrealistic?
I think a lot of it arises from the culture of social media. Social media has created a culture where we are fiercely competitive with one another. If you scroll through your newsfeed, you’ll see an endless reel of people living their best lives. There’s usually no bad news, and no ordinary photos capturing the dull, routine activities of life. Rather, what you see are intense and vibrant colors, smooth, poreless skin, laughing and smiling faces, and photos that generally rank high on ‘instagrammability.’
With a culture like this, it’s no wonder that we ourselves feel the need to mimic these behaviors to try to keep up with the competition. This sense of competitiveness only breeds envy, thus contributing to the severely addictive (and also depressive) need to brag about our lives, our vacations, and essentially every facet of our existence.
It’s easy to fall into the vacation bragging trap, and I myself am guilty of wanting to capture the most perfect (and by default, most unreal) moment in a photo. But then I have to ask myself: what am I trying to accomplish when the goal is perfection? Am I seeking validation from others? Am I trying to turn a fun memory into an enviable moment?
If you have struggled with similar sentiments and the overwhelming need to over post-your life on social media, here are a few tips for you to try.
How to Break the Vacation Bragging Habit
1. Ask yourself: what am I trying to accomplish by documenting this moment? Before you take a hundred pictures, and definitely before you post on social media, ask yourself what your goal is by taking the photo/posting the photo. Are you trying to document a memory that you’ll fondly look back on? Or are you seeking approval from your friends on social media? Is this a moment that you’ll even want to frame in an actual photo frame? Or will it be a picture that you’ll post and totally forget about in six months?
2. Recognize your intention. Once you’ve decided what your goal is by taking the photo, recognize what intent you have behind it. Do you feel like you have to post this photo to keep up with everyone else? Is your intent behind making a post actually good and worthwhile? Or is it alluding to your insecurities about yourself?
3. Decide if it’s worth it. After distilling down what your intention is, decide if taking the photo and/or posting it is still worth it. If you’re only taking this picture to temporarily boost your self-esteem and to potentially cause envy in others, it probably isn’t worth it.
4. Live in the moment. Rather than seeing your life through a camera lens, see it through your own eyes and remove the distraction of a camera altogether. Your life is going to continue whether you document it or not, so how do you want to live it? Are you going to actually live in the moment and appreciate that experience? Or are you going to simply act as an observer and post about it later?
Need more tips? Check out this article.
