Please note that this post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here.
The people we spend the most time with in our lives are those we tend to be most similar to.
While some of those people undoubtedly have positive effects on us, others have, well, not so positive effects on our lives.
Toxic people aren’t always easily identifiable, and because of this, it can make it difficult to notice just how much of a negative influence they have on our lives. Their toxic patterns and behaviors can creep into our own without us even knowing, and can ultimately rub off on us in a negative way.
Learning how to identify toxic people in your life is a valuable skill, and one that will serve you well for the rest of your lifetime. Whether you suspect that your close friend, colleague, relative, or even your significant other may be toxic, here are five surefire ways to identify toxic people.
5 Surefire Ways to Identify Toxic People
1. You constantly feel like you have to defend your choices to them. One way to identify toxic people is to examine your own dialogue. Whether you’ve known this person for two weeks or two years, you feel like you always have to prove yourself to them and defend yourself over every little thing. It’s fairly normal in relationships to have to take a stand from time to time and explain yourself. But when you’re consistently defending your actions and choices to this person, this usually indicates that you’re dealing with a toxic person. Don’t forget: this is your life. Anyone that makes you feel belittled or judged for everything you do is not worth your time.
2. You feel awful and/or emotionally exhausted after you see them. After you’ve visited with this person, how do you usually feel? Refreshed and invigorated? Or drained and in a bad mood? If it’s the latter, then it’s likely this person is exposing you to their toxicity. Check who you keep company with. Just as good people can have a positive effect on our lives, toxic, negative people can quickly take away from that.
3. Most of their conversation is based on criticisms and judgments. Another way to identify toxic people is to carefully note how and what they say about others. When you’re with this person, do they consistently badmouth others or find endless topics to complain about? When a person’s dialogue is consistently negative, critical, gossipy, and judgmental, this is typically a reflection of their true colors. Limit your time with this person as much as you can. Life is too short to waste your time on someone who spreads negativity, instead of positivity.
4. They manipulate others (including you). Toxic people are experts in manipulation. They know exactly how to use others for their own gain, and how to get away with it. If this person is someone you consider to be a friend, remember that friendship is a balance of give and take. It’s not about taking and using someone else to come out ahead.
5. They’re always in the throes of some drama. Does it always seem like this person is in the midst of a new drama or scandal? Does drama just always seem to “find” them? Chances are that they’re not just unlucky, but that they’re actually toxic and attracting all that negative energy into their lives. Be careful with this person. It can become a slippery slope when they drag you into their most recent, toxic drama.
For more tips on how to identify toxic people, check out this article.
