22 Relationship Green Flags You Should Look For When Dating

What are Relationship Green Flags?

Knowing what green flags to look for when dating someone is critical to determining whether that person is worth pursuing a relationship with.

When you spot those green flags with someone, it doesn’t always mean that they’re the one. Rather, you know this person is worth getting to know more, and worthy of your time.

Green flags are essentially signs—either subtle or obvious—that a relationship is healthy, safe, and worth pursuing.

Conversely, red flags serve as warnings signs that a relationship may be unhealthy, or even harmful to us.

While we may think red flags and green flags are easy enough to distinguish when dating, the truth is, things can become blurry, especially when we become emotionally invested in someone.

Thrown in our past relationship experiences, our expectations, our emotions, or our dreamy #relationshipgoals, and things can get very confusing.

This is why it’s so important to focus on what you’re looking for and needing in your relationship, whether it’s one you’re presently in, or one that you may enter into. This way, you know exactly what to look for (and what you’re definitely not looking for).

Keep reading to learn which green flags you should be on the lookout for.

22 Relationship Green Flags You Should Look For

They are more reflective than negative about their past relationships. We can all agree that hearing someone refer to every single one of their exes as “crazy” raises a red flag. However, when someone is more reflective than negative about their exes, it can often be a green flag. This means they’ve taken the time to reflect on why their relationship didn’t work out, and hopefully identified areas they’d like to improve upon in their next relationship.
Your self-confidence blooms when you’re with them. There’s nothing like the feeling of being admired or appreciated for who we are. If they find ways to make you feel amazing about yourself, this is a big green flag.
The future isn’t frightening for them. If talking about the future with them makes them sweat bullets, don’t waste your time. On the other hand, if they’re open to talking about the future with you or, better yet, if they’re excited to chat about your future plans, then it’s a green flag.
They remember the little things about you. Do they remember that you prefer to have a straw in your glass of water? Or that you can’t drink coffee on an empty stomach? Little things like this show that they’ve noticed (and remembered) these details about you, a definite green flag.
They make you want to be an even better version of yourself. As wonderful as you already are, if you find yourself wanting to be an even better version of yourself when you’re with this person, this is a green flag. Being with someone who inspires us to be better is one of the most fulfilling aspects of a healthy relationship. It also shows that you’re willing to grow with them.
Your closest friends approve. When someone gains the approval of our closest friends, this is another sign that this relationship is worth exploring more. Your friends are your allies, and when they sign off on this person, it means this new potentially significant other will likely fit into your social groups.
You can both be vulnerable with each other. When you both feel comfortable sharing (or even oversharing) details that not too many other people know about you, this means that you trust each other enough to let your guard down a little and show vulnerability. This is one of the greatest ways to build trust in a relationship.
They get along with your family. When someone gets along well with your family, this is a major green flag. Attaining family approval usually indicates that a relationship has the potential to last. On the other hand, when the family doesn’t approve, this puts strain on the relationship, making it unlikely to last.
They never push you to go at a different pace than what you’re comfortable with. If they’re someone who respects your boundaries and the pace at which you’re comfortable with, then it’s a green flag. However, if they push you to go at a different pace, or even criticize you for wanting to move at a pace that’s different from their own, this could be a red flag.
They’re genuinely interested in you. We all know that feeling when someone is only interested in superficial chatter, and not really interested in us or our thoughts and feelings. It doesn’t feel good. However, when someone is genuinely interested in you and wants to know why you feel the way you do about things, or how you feel about certain topics, this is a green flag.
They’re up for new experiences with you. When someone is game for new experiences with you, this means they’re willing to grow and learn with you. Being willing to grow and learn with someone is one of the hallmarks of a successful, long-term relationship, and something you should definitely look for in someone.
They know your boundaries, and they respect them. When they know and respect your boundaries, whether it’s money, time, etc., this is a very positive sign. They should never make you feel uncomfortable about what those boundaries are, or make you feel like you have to defend them.
They treat you (and others) with kindness. This may seem like such a simple green flag to look for in a relationship, but trust me, it can be overlooked. If they’re nice to you, but make a snide remark to the waiter, be cautious. However, if they’re kind to you, and also kind to the waiter, the seating hostess, and other restaurant guests, this is a green flag.
They make choices that align with what they say. Being able to talk the talk is one thing, but can they walk the walk? When they consistently align their actions with their words, this is a positive sign.
They’re willing to compromise. Being able to compromise is an art, and if they’ve already mastered this, this is a very good sign. Maybe they let you pick the restaurant, and they get to pick the movie. Simple compromises like these can go a long way in establishing healthy boundaries where both of your wishes are honored.
They want to impress you, even with simple things. Whether it’s holding the door open for you, or surprising you with tickets to a show you’ve been talking about, if they’re going out of their way to impress you, this is a green flag.
They have hobbies and dreams they’re passionate about. Are they into playing tennis? Working out? Volunteering? When someone has hobbies and activities they’re passionate about, this means they’re motivated and driven to excel on a more personal level.
They have a solid group of friends. It’s no mystery that having a good group of friends usually equates with stability and dependability. When the person you’re dating has a decent group of friends, this typically means they’re social and have their own network of friends they can rely on, another green flag for you.
They respect (and even appreciate) your differences. They may never be able to fully understand your love for reality shows like Selling Sunset, but they appreciate that you’re so passionate about…real estate. Someone who respects your differences like this means that they’re able to disagree respectfully, which is crucial for any relationship to work.
When it comes to their time, you’re a top priority. Everyone’s busy and has their own priorities and demands. But if this special someone consistently makes time to see you, no matter how busy they are, this is key green flag.
Communication may not be their strong suit, but you can see that they’re trying. This is one of the first things I noticed about my husband back when we were dating. Communication was never his forte, but from the moment we started to officially date, he made a concerted effort to improve. Simply checking in throughout the day, or letting me know if he was running late, etc., went a long way in letting me know he valued me and our time spent together. Our communication still isn’t perfect (in what relationship is it ever perfect?), but the effort is always there. So if you see them trying to master this difficult skill, kudos to them (and a green flag for you).
Wherever you’re with them, you feel at home. Whether you meet up with them at a coffee shop nearby, after work for drinks, or even take a weekend trip with them somewhere, if you feel at home with them no matter the location, this a definite green flag. When you feel at home with someone like this, it means that you’re completely comfortable to be you wherever you are, and that you trust them to take care of you no matter the setting.