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At some point or another, we’re bound to experience feelings of burnout or exhaustion in our relationships.
It may feel like things have gotten “stale,” or boring, or that we’re simply drained from just going through the same motions with our partner.
Experiencing this in a relationship is normal, but not every couple knows how to deal with it when it happens.
Learn how to handle relationship burnout with these 5 tips.
5 Tips to Handle Relationship Exhaustion
1. Be honest with yourself. When you experience relationship exhaustion, this is usually a good time to assess where you’re at right now in your life. Often it’s not just the relationship that is exhausted, but another area of your life, which may be detrimentally affecting your love life. Are you overworked at your job? Are there ongoing demands in other areas of your life that are draining you? Take the time to identify where the real underlying cause of your burnout is coming from. It could be that it’s not actually your relationship that is the cause of your exhaustion, but that your relationship is suffering as a result of burnout from another area in your life.
2. Have a constructive conversation with your partner. It’s important to be as honest and transparent as possible about your feelings with your partner, while also keeping their feelings in mind. If you dump all your negative feelings on them, it will likely backfire and make them feel attacked. Be honest with your emotions, but also be sure to lay out things constructively. Use more “I” than “You” language, and communicate in a way that lets them know you want to work to improve things between you.
3. Realize it’s okay to ask for help. When we face relationship burnout, it’s easy to feel isolated, and it can be difficult to ask for help. While this doesn’t mean you have to jump right into couples therapy to address your relationship, it also doesn’t mean you should hold back from looking for answers either. Whether it’s a self-help book, talking with a close friend, or just seeking out relationship advice online, explore new ideas that might help your relationship. Plenty of couples face relationship exhaustion, and the ones that come out stronger are those that are willing to look for solutions.
4. Align yourself with your relationship goals. It’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture in a relationship, which can exacerbate feelings of exhaustion. When you find yourself becoming mired in the not-so-important, smaller details of your relationship, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Are you on track with your larger relationship goals? Does your current path reflect what’s most important to you and your partner? Take a hard look at where you’re going, and realize that it’s okay to adjust your direction and realign yourself with where you want to go.
5. Find ways to reconnect with your partner. When was the last time you had fun with your partner? So much of the time we focus on trying to find the issues we need to “fix,” rather than just relaxing and having fun in the relationship. Find ways to reconnect with your partner, whether it’s trying a out new restaurant tonight, getting away this weekend, or socializing with friends. Return to the activities you love doing with them to remind yourself of what matters most in a relationship.
