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It’s been months since your break-up, and while some days you feel almost normal, there are other days where you constantly ask yourself, “Why can’t I get over my ex?”
Moving on from an ex is painful. We become trapped between our minds and the past where every memory of them taunts us and makes us question our choices and ourselves. Try as we might, we just can’t seem to let go of them completely and live our lives without them, even though they’re not physically present.
Break-ups can be some of the most traumatic experiences of our lives, and the aftermath is usually not any better. While we all struggle to move on for different reasons, here are some of the most common barriers that are keeping you from getting over your ex.
6 Reasons Why You Still Haven’t Gotten Over Your Ex
1. You’ve convinced yourself that you don’t deserve better. If you were in an unhealthy or toxic relationship, a common sentiment to feel post-break-up is that you don’t deserve any better than your ex. Don’t fall into this trap. In toxic, manipulative relationships, we learn to rely on that person as we would an addiction, and we’re lead to believe that we’re unworthy of love and respect. There’s a reason the relationship ended, and it was so that you could be both healthier and happier. You deserve so much more, and you are worthy of love and respect.
2. You’re hyper focusing on your mistakes. If you find yourself still wondering, “Where did I go wrong?” “What could I have done differently?” Stop that pattern of thoughts now. Just as things work out for a reason, a lot of things don’t work out for a reason, too. So when you’re tempted to focus on what you could have done differently with your ex, remind yourself that things worked out like they did so you could ultimately be happier, even if that means being without them.
3. You’re forgetting all the problems you and your ex had. You and your ex decided to end your relationship for a reason. Maybe you fought all the time. Maybe you were just too different and realized you were incompatible. Regardless of all these sensible reasons, sometimes your mind will blur the not-so-great events of your past and give the past a rosier a glow than it really deserves. Remind yourself of the reasons you broke up-however painful- when you’re tempted to think back on how things used to be. You deserve a happier, healthier future.
4. You’re afraid of being alone. A lot of people stay in relationships for this reason, no matter how bad or toxic the relationship is. Do you really want to be one of those people that would rather be unhappy and unhealthy in a relationship, rather than being on your own, independent, and far happier? The thought of being alone may seem rather daunting, but there’s no better time for self-discovery and self-empowerment than after a break-up.
5. Social media is there to remind you of them ALL the time. I know I’m always touting the benefits of doing a social media detox, but for the sake of your own health and well-being, GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA, at least for a week or two. Trust me, there’s truth to the saying, “Out of sight, out of mind.” When you’re not forced to look at your ex and their new girlfriend, or how amazing their trip to Spain was, or how freaking #blessed they are, you’ll find it so much easier to get over them.
6. You’re caught in a web of comparisons. It’s far too easy to compare ourselves to others, especially when others appear to be happier and better off than we are. Along with a social media detox, try to shift the focus back to you and you alone. Talk down your self-doubts, and chase after your own goals and self-fulfillment as if your life depends on it. You are more than capable of being and happy successful without your ex, and once you realize that, there’s no stopping you.
Still not quit sure how you can completely move on from your ex? Check out these proven 10 ways to finally get over your ex.
