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Whether it’s painful events in the past, an unhealthy relationship, or simply a collection of bad habits, many of us struggle to let go of the things that we know are hurting us.
Humans are a funny species. We cling to what we know isn’t good for us, and yet we find ourselves unable to let go of its invisible, yet extremely heavy weight.
There are a number of reasons we do this to ourselves.
We may cling to the past because we’re afraid of what the future holds.
We may feel afraid to let go because it means giving up our perceived sense of control.
Or we may become trapped in a cycle of thoughts that we can’t seem to break. We analyze and re analyze our choices, our actions, and how they’ve affected others and ourselves.
Breaking free of this cycle becomes harder and harder as time goes on, which is why it’s more important than ever that you learn to let go of what’s holding you back sooner, rather than later.
While I don’t have a step-by-step guide for you that entails exactly what you need to do to move forward, I do have a few questions for you to consider.
These questions will help to pinpoint exactly what is holding you back. More importantly, they’ll help you to cultivate a sense of mindfulness about not only what you can lose by letting go, but also what you can gain by moving forward.
7 Questions That Will Help You Let Go of Whatever Is Holding You Back
1. What exactly is holding you back?
Firstly, identify what exactly is holding you back. Is it a break-up you still haven’t quite gotten over? Are you coping with a recent loss? Was it a tough decision you had to make that you still wonder about? Journal and use your writing as a guide to your thoughts to pinpoint precisely what is holding you back.
2. What purpose does it serve in your life?
Now that you’ve identified your mental roadblocks, ask yourself, “What purpose is this serving in my life?” While these obstacles may have allowed for some soul searching on your part, more than likely, what’s holding you back serves little to no purpose, other than causing you unnecessary grief and anguish.
3. How does it support your system of beliefs?
When you think about what is holding you back, what beliefs is it upholding? Is it upholding a completely false belief or misconception? It may be that you believe you don’t deserve better than your ex, or that you made the wrong decision at some point along the way. So much of the time these false beliefs go unchecked in our minds simply because we don’t bring attention to them, and instead accept them as fact. Reassess these beliefs, and don’t let them go unchecked for any longer.
4. What will you lose by giving it up?
When you think about letting go of what is holding you back, what do you stand to lose? Are you afraid of letting go because it means finally accepting the truth? It may be that you fear finally letting go of your ex because it means accepting that you’ll never get back together. Or that you fear that by letting go, you’re also letting go of your sense of control.
5. What will you gain by giving it up?
Now that you know what you stand to lose by letting go of what’s holding you back, look at the other side of the equation. What will you gain by giving it up? A sense of freedom? The ability to finally move forward? A clean slate? Keep journaling as you note these gains, and make a list of your gains next to your losses.
6. Do the gains outweigh the losses?
Once you’ve completed your list of what you’ll gain, compare your gains to your losses. Do the gains outweigh the losses? More than likely, the advantages of your gains far outweigh the drawbacks of your losses.
7. If not now, then when?
Think about your future self for a moment. When you look to the future, what do you wish to see in yourself? Someone who is stronger, wiser, and able to grow and learn from the past? Or someone who is weighed down by the chains of the past, and unable to move forward? There’s no better time than now to let go of what’s holding you back. And when you finally do choose to let go, you’ll find it’s that much easier to move forward without all that added, unnecessary weight of what once held you back.
